Every time I date a nice guy, especially if I like him, I feel so insecure and wonder, what if he’s dating someone else at the same time?Just last month, I met a cute guy and we went out and had so much fun together. Now it’s been a month and we’ve gone out four times.They decide they are interested enough consider a formal relationship.In order to facilitate emotional bonding, to determine whether they are compatible for a romantic relationship, both boy and girl agree to be sexually exclusive.And, since I don't have a top-notch memory, it also requires keeping a handy list in my phone.The logic behind multi-dating isn’t rooted so much in the need to distract oneself with a bunch of dudes following a breakup (although it totally can be) as it is in what men have long called "playing the field.” And, it's certainly not a new concept.But here’s the thing: We have so much fun together. My best friend tells me to relax – this is just how dating is. I’m going nuts thinking about him dating other girls. However, despite the apparent benefits, the Tinder Revolution often leaves us feeling less self-confident, confused, frustrated, and empty. Everybody wants to feel special and to be treated with love and respect.She says it’s 100% normal for us to both date multiple people at once until we decide together to make the relationship exclusive. Agreeing to date someone while he or she dates other people signals that it is somehow acceptable not to respect or value you.
What’s the difference between being sexually exclusive, and being boyfriend and girlfriend?The last time I saw him, I asked him if we could define our relationship. I decided that everything was probably okay until yesterday when my brother went to a coffee shop and saw him with another girl.In response, he started talking, but somehow didn’t really say anything, and I got the feeling he was probably seeing someone else. Everything was still so new between us, so I let the subject drop. I’m afraid to bring this up with him because the conversation didn’t go well the last time; he’s obviously not ready to be exclusive with me. My friend, you are an unwitting victim of the new culture that I call “the Tinder Revolution.” Although it’s always been possible to see more than one person at a time, technology – and Tinder, where one swipes right or left to meet or reject another – is just one app of many that has made it much easier for us to encounter, get-to-know, and “communicate” with multiple people simultaneously.Ever been at a party or a function where someone is talking to you, but at the same time scanning the room looking for someone else to talk to? I can also date multiple people and still make the right choice. Dating multiple people has significantly disabled bachelors and bachelorettes from focusing on the people sitting right in front of them.Studies show that too many options actually make it harder to choose.