My friend considers herself to be at fault for her divorce, even though her ex was a horrible human being (though not physically abusive). She is going out of her way to make sure that her kids have a male “father figure” in their lives. I have tried telling her that she is enough, that the kids truly do love her, and that those of us around her are more than glad to pick up the slack, but it often falls on deaf ears.
Her kids are a preteen and an adolescent — a boy and a girl.
(Well, it may be, but it’s too late to change that now.) You’ve only just started seeing this whippersnapper (get used to the ribbing, it’ll come from all directions) and things might not work out.
If they do, your son is unlikely to object in the long term to something that makes you happy.
My partner and our brand new baby moved to a new, big city away from most of my family and friends because of my partner’s new job.
What follows is an edited down version of the two-hour conversation these ladies had.The optimal thing for families stumbling through transitions is for the kids to have a loving relationship with both of their parents — even if the parents have split — and for all parties to settle down into a daily reality that is stable and balanced.Spend time with your friend and her children, and urge her (privately) to relax into her new reality and help her children to enjoy their life as it is, now.I feel young for my age and full of energy, so it’s not a problem, as I see it.But when I told my son he was horrified and said he didn’t want anything to do with me until I 'came to my senses’. VICKI I’d leave him alone for a bit until he gets over his shock.